A master’s creed

I don’t pretend to be one..  But strive to be there someday…  But always follow to the best of My ability


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A first… Sex advise column

Well they’re a first for everything I guess and if you would have told me 3 year ago that I would not only be in a poly quad.. But answering questions about poly on a sex advise blog I would have laughed in you face…. Well the old karma struck again….

To put some perspective, we’ve been friends with the couple behind http://www.fuckblogging.com or http://sexlifeandeverything.com as they are now known for year enjoying (and even participating) in there journey of self discovery so when they asked us a few months ago if we wanted to guess blog on there site we (the quad) said sure why not.. We all have our own individual blogs so transitioning was not a big issues… So once our intro were done.. Came our first assignment, a advise column on poly… They had received a question from one of there reader that they couldn’t answer… So they flipped it to us… So I (we) said why not…

So here it is for those that want to read it



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landing the high

I’m writing this as more then one have asks me about m technique to avoid Drop, ether Dom or sub…

this though process really started a few months ago when i got a really bad case of Dom drop.   this drop really hit me hard because i never drop .   in most of my 20 year of tapping into this euphoric force that is called DomSpace i never dropped.. at the time i chalk it off to a very emotional weekend ( I had just offered Krys my collar) so i disregarded it.   i consciously cataloged the even to be analysed at a later date but left it alone…  but when a few months later i dropped (bad) again i needed to analyse what is wrong ..

<insert what you want> space

for those unaware what Dom (sub) space is, it  a euphoric high that a Top or bottom experiences during BDSM scene..   your brain gets flooded with endorphin’s, dopamine and all sorts of other chemicals creating a sense of euphoria … yes a natural and very addictive high… this reaction manifest itself differently for every person (for me i feel like i’m 10 feet tall and van do no wrong) .. unfortunately like any high at one point you must come down…. now in my opinion how you come down is completely up to you…

the secret sauce….

to me it’s kind of simple the key to this technique is understanding what you are doing your brain is flying high and if you think of it as a plane ride the faster and harder you come down the bumpier it is… oh and the more chance of staling in crashing,   so using the plane analogy the trick is to glide and land at a steady pace controlling your decent.   you need to train yourself to let the sense of euphoria leave your body slowly… don’t rush it and certainty don’t try to hold on to feeling no matter how good it feels… let you body release the feeling… enjoy the memory of it don’t try to hold on to it… that is when you crash…

it may be a little self masochistic of me but i kind of enjoy the flight down… felling the endorphin slowly leave your body… savoring the memory of a job well done… knowing that ti will come again… holding on to tight just induces withdrawal

Now it’s not as easy as it sound and will require practice… but I’ve found once mastered it makes thing much more enjoyable




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gone sideways … evolved… the joke is over…

I’ve been know as a personal joke for almost 3 years  on twitter..  Yes the @numbnutt69 has been retired…  It was originally set as a joke…  Then it became a way to identify me on Twitter…   But it’s run its course….  What made the numbnutt is still here in me…  But it’s evolved… And matured… 

I’m now @twistIshboB    still and inside joke to those who know me but less of a childish one. .  More of a persona that I’ve taken on…  Well the Bob one…  At least…  And yes the following accounts were taken so don’t ask


Now I’m officially and ish…..  Now

If you want to know the story behind this one… Buy me a glass of scotch and I may divulge it..  😉

Until next time

The twisted (ish)  Shutterbob

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The kink is dead… Long live the kinks…

I’ve always though that was a great saying…  Well when it referred to the king not kink that is .  It indicated a closing of a chapter but the story goes on…  In this case I’m talking about closing out a vary important chapter in my life..  I am (was)  a swinger at my core..  I was proud to say that I could perform anytime anywhere…  Emotions or not,  pure lust would rule the night…  It was and I still consider it one of my major kinks..    The trill of the hunt..  The dance at a swing party..  The pure animal lust.  Ironically it was relaxing..  I would  leave swing party even if we didn’t play with anyone relax and content….  Then came the meds  ..  Yes if you’ve follow this blog or know me you know that I was put on meds to try to help my fibromyalgia and they where not only a total failure but cause some serious issues with my sex drive..  Both physical and mental..  And it’s been a long time in recovery…  Well a few weeks ago a friend of our ask us to join her at the local swing club…  Well more like she hinted that she wanted to fuck me…  But I digress…  Not knowing what to expect and if I could perform I put on my Dom pants on and we went.    We even convinced Kate to come….  The evening was going well,  couple filtered in as they usually do and we even recognised a few friends from year past…  What struck me sitting back with a scotch was…  This is boring, the interaction was forced,  drinking was to excess and you could physically see a tether between husband and wives (partner) .. I Mentioned this to Kate since she was Like me a voyeur and enjoyed the same dance…  And she agreed…  Now to put some context..  The past few months I’ve been attending a lot of poly and kink event…  Most of them social and on premise and the interaction is vastly different..  More fluid,  amicable..  Husbands a aren’t checking if there wife’s are around and no one asks “is your wife ok with this” …  Much more enjoyable…. Everyone is themselves,  talk.. Fuck..  Flog..  It’s all there and discussed.  OK back to the night…  Yes I did get to play with Lise but you know what… it was fun. Don’t get me wrong it was primal and vicious.. but just wasn’t me anymore…  The rush wasn’t there…  The perform all the time any time that was always me was gone….  And I’m ashamed to say it the desire and performance wasn’t ether (ish) ..    The swinger thing just wasn’t there for me.  The kink is dead… 

Now this doesn’t mean I’m going to enter monastery and swear celibacy… HELL No…  Do I still have some healing to do both mental and physical… Probably /most likely …  But you know what my life is evolving…  I’m a Dominant with 2 sub…  And in a poly relationship.  Have a multitude of very nasty kinks and fetishes that are only blossoming  and expanding… I enjoying this new kink environment I’ve found myself in..  It relaxing,  social and yes even cerebral.  I’m getting the same if not more enjoyment out of it…  This scene is not superficial,  it’s not an environment where I don’t care about names and personalities…  I want to know more,  discusses with and even learn from those that I meet…  Does this mean I not going to fuck around…  Hell no…  Just means I’m going to get my rock of  in a different manner (yes I am and always have been sapisexual) so we soldier on and continue the adventure one chapter closes and entire book to discover .. Long live the Kinks

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Word Sadist

Yes I am dyslexic and can’t spell worth shit… And lately it’s getting good worst for some reason …  But you know what,  as frustrating to those that are subjected to my tormenting writings  (trust me I’m one of them…. I’ve event  caught myself saying WTF) .. Today I had an appifiny… After realizing that I misspelled a stupid little word, it came to me… People are really going to roll there eyes at that one… And I kind of had a little bubbling inside me.    A feeling that I’ve identify as my sadistic pleasure… I actually got off on it.. So could it be that I may be a word sadist… Yes tormenting other with my bad spelling can be quite fun.. Especially if I do it on purpose…. >:) ..

Now that my friends is turning a Negative into a positive…

Remember friend… Sadistic dyslexic era toeple poo

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back soon…

well it’s been a trying 2015… with lots of demons to slay… will be back soon with a new outlook on life and a fresh perspective.

focus on this blog will shift a bit from a simple photographers point of view to a BDSM (form a Dominant point of view) and photograper to reflex a shit /reawakening in my life .

so stay tuned

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this first time at the mill …. the SET

some say people are lucky … some say you must make your own luck.. well i think it’s a little of both .. and well this shy introvert geek (please stop laughing) think that you need to take the bull by the horn and put yourself out there… you’ve all seen my journey through photography and well this is just an other path lest taken that if come across…..



this all started with a post on Facebook and camera charger.  One of the members of the DL group on facebook posted that they needed a changer for a old olympus camera that i just happen to own…. I offered the charger for him to test since it was simply gathering dust… So we meet up to do the exchange and share a coffee .. as this thing go when two professional meet we talk shop and show each other our portfolio….. We some of you may know one of my passion is boudoir photography (not shown on this site… it’s socially friendly 😉  . but he so happen to do, i mean shoot, oi mean take pictures of a lot of models. and he say id really love this group that hes member of and he told me he would send me an invite… we parted way me feeling kind of good about myself.

The invite

that night I got an group invite on facebook and not thinking more of it then cool he did send me the invite… till i looked at the top and it said this was a secret group… WTF… facebook as secret groups cool.. i then proceded to look up the different type of group (yes I’m a geek sue me) …
and low and behold there is secret groups…. cool…..   and well all i can tell yo is WOW … i was mesmerized by the picture i saw both of the models and the location…..

The Mill

this is a great place for a photographer like myself…. total pivacy … setting like you wound’t believe and model that want to be taken there for nude pictures….. there is no electricity at this place … part of it was burnt down, most or it is destroyed and graffiti and should be put down….  I loved it….  almost broke my neck a few times but all in a days work…. god i love my job….


well you probably already reed this story on other blogs but here it is the complete set of  pictures from the Mill … there were taken in the basement in a room only light steaming from a hole in a ceiling .. making shadows all over the place …. i was in a macabre moody kind of place when I took these pictures… so i does reflect in there processing….
thoughts in the dark
view at freedom
Ill repeat myself….. I love my job/….
Posted in mill, nude, photoshoot

the day it went limp

it happen … it happens to everyone…. it’s not that bad….. it will come back…. it’s the med’s…. they don’t care …

All great sayings and they’ve been running through my head. after reading my good friend Ryan’s last blog post this morning (kind of ironic) i decided to type this out…. yes it finally  happened , my dick stayed down and doesn’t seem to want to go up …. for those that follow me, they know that i’m on some pretty interesting medication for my fybromyalgia… there not pretty and one of the side effects in decreased libido… I’ve had a disconnect between the mental , emotional and physical aspects of sex for a while now but I’ve always been able to perform…may not feel it but i can always use it… It something I’ve always been proud of as a swinger no matter what when it count it up….

for those that are not in the lifestyle a litter note :  a dick going flacid during play is normal it’s a muscle engorged with blood… it cannot stay “flexed” all the time… it will expand and contract as needed…. it’s the first mental rule males in the lifestyle need to learn.. until they do they start getting mental blocks and cant get it up…. Yes Ryan even my dick doesn’t stay up for a 5 hours session…. that would hurt.  

to go back to current dilemma.. I know dicks go up and down (pun intended) as activities happen an even the inability to cum during a session (that the 2nd thing males have to get use to) happens.. our dicks are there to please the woman… but here i am.. a experienced swinger living the lessons all over and not because i’m a noob but because of medication…. over the last few month I’ve experienced all sorts of sexual issues.  from not being able to cum for almost 2 weeks to mot reacting to people fucking next to me (that one was hard to take…. i am a voyeur after all) but when the chips are down and the pussy is there to be taken it’s old faithful and i can at lease please my partner …  

well it happened I couldn’t get it up  and really didn’t care (at the time). now I do because all the fears every man feels came crashing to me… will i every be able to perform again, i’m not a man, they will find some else .. etc .. etc…. yes mentally i know what these fears are just that fears…. but in my case it’s a little different the condition is medically induced, yes i can pop a little blue pill (ironically this is the only situation my insurance will cover) but it’s not the same, it’s a huge blow to my already fragile ego…. and i know what your thinking…. fuck that no med’s are worth the having a limp noddle.. but you see from all I’ve read is in most cases it does come back as your body chemistry adjust… but the kicker is no matter if i stay on the drugs or get of of them   the damage is done… it may or may not come back ether way. i may go back to my normal “it’s on mode” or i may have to live with a limp noddle that needs help to get up ….

well if you know me you know i don’t have a lot… and those i do have are well hidden…  right now what i have is raging in me…. from rage to self dough … and just for a not to the ladies the “I’m just happy that your here” doesn’t do fuck all for us…. actually makes thing worst….. 😉     so for now i just have to ride the wave.. for those guys that read this.. it happens to the best of us…. and you cant let it mentally block you…. just let it ride it’s chemical (ether induced or natural) don’t let the emotional get you blocked….

so for now will ride it out and adapt…. ill survive I always do….


Posted in emotions, fybromyalgia, impotence, lyfestyle, medication, swinging

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