The kink is dead… Long live the kinks…

I’ve always though that was a great saying…  Well when it referred to the king not kink that is .  It indicated a closing of a chapter but the story goes on…  In this case I’m talking about closing out a vary important chapter in my life..  I am (was)  a swinger at my core..  I was proud to say that I could perform anytime anywhere…  Emotions or not,  pure lust would rule the night…  It was and I still consider it one of my major kinks..    The trill of the hunt..  The dance at a swing party..  The pure animal lust.  Ironically it was relaxing..  I would  leave swing party even if we didn’t play with anyone relax and content….  Then came the meds  ..  Yes if you’ve follow this blog or know me you know that I was put on meds to try to help my fibromyalgia and they where not only a total failure but cause some serious issues with my sex drive..  Both physical and mental..  And it’s been a long time in recovery…  Well a few weeks ago a friend of our ask us to join her at the local swing club…  Well more like she hinted that she wanted to fuck me…  But I digress…  Not knowing what to expect and if I could perform I put on my Dom pants on and we went.    We even convinced Kate to come….  The evening was going well,  couple filtered in as they usually do and we even recognised a few friends from year past…  What struck me sitting back with a scotch was…  This is boring, the interaction was forced,  drinking was to excess and you could physically see a tether between husband and wives (partner) .. I Mentioned this to Kate since she was Like me a voyeur and enjoyed the same dance…  And she agreed…  Now to put some context..  The past few months I’ve been attending a lot of poly and kink event…  Most of them social and on premise and the interaction is vastly different..  More fluid,  amicable..  Husbands a aren’t checking if there wife’s are around and no one asks “is your wife ok with this” …  Much more enjoyable…. Everyone is themselves,  talk.. Fuck..  Flog..  It’s all there and discussed.  OK back to the night…  Yes I did get to play with Lise but you know what… it was fun. Don’t get me wrong it was primal and vicious.. but just wasn’t me anymore…  The rush wasn’t there…  The perform all the time any time that was always me was gone….  And I’m ashamed to say it the desire and performance wasn’t ether (ish) ..    The swinger thing just wasn’t there for me.  The kink is dead… 

Now this doesn’t mean I’m going to enter monastery and swear celibacy… HELL No…  Do I still have some healing to do both mental and physical… Probably /most likely …  But you know what my life is evolving…  I’m a Dominant with 2 sub…  And in a poly relationship.  Have a multitude of very nasty kinks and fetishes that are only blossoming  and expanding… I enjoying this new kink environment I’ve found myself in..  It relaxing,  social and yes even cerebral.  I’m getting the same if not more enjoyment out of it…  This scene is not superficial,  it’s not an environment where I don’t care about names and personalities…  I want to know more,  discusses with and even learn from those that I meet…  Does this mean I not going to fuck around…  Hell no…  Just means I’m going to get my rock of  in a different manner (yes I am and always have been sapisexual) so we soldier on and continue the adventure one chapter closes and entire book to discover .. Long live the Kinks

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