the day it went limp

it happen … it happens to everyone…. it’s not that bad….. it will come back…. it’s the med’s…. they don’t care …

All great sayings and they’ve been running through my head. after reading my good friend Ryan’s last blog post this morning (kind of ironic) i decided to type this out…. yes it finally  happened , my dick stayed down and doesn’t seem to want to go up …. for those that follow me, they know that i’m on some pretty interesting medication for my fybromyalgia… there not pretty and one of the side effects in decreased libido… I’ve had a disconnect between the mental , emotional and physical aspects of sex for a while now but I’ve always been able to perform…may not feel it but i can always use it… It something I’ve always been proud of as a swinger no matter what when it count it up….

for those that are not in the lifestyle a litter note :  a dick going flacid during play is normal it’s a muscle engorged with blood… it cannot stay “flexed” all the time… it will expand and contract as needed…. it’s the first mental rule males in the lifestyle need to learn.. until they do they start getting mental blocks and cant get it up…. Yes Ryan even my dick doesn’t stay up for a 5 hours session…. that would hurt.  

to go back to current dilemma.. I know dicks go up and down (pun intended) as activities happen an even the inability to cum during a session (that the 2nd thing males have to get use to) happens.. our dicks are there to please the woman… but here i am.. a experienced swinger living the lessons all over and not because i’m a noob but because of medication…. over the last few month I’ve experienced all sorts of sexual issues.  from not being able to cum for almost 2 weeks to mot reacting to people fucking next to me (that one was hard to take…. i am a voyeur after all) but when the chips are down and the pussy is there to be taken it’s old faithful and i can at lease please my partner …  

well it happened I couldn’t get it up  and really didn’t care (at the time). now I do because all the fears every man feels came crashing to me… will i every be able to perform again, i’m not a man, they will find some else .. etc .. etc…. yes mentally i know what these fears are just that fears…. but in my case it’s a little different the condition is medically induced, yes i can pop a little blue pill (ironically this is the only situation my insurance will cover) but it’s not the same, it’s a huge blow to my already fragile ego…. and i know what your thinking…. fuck that no med’s are worth the having a limp noddle.. but you see from all I’ve read is in most cases it does come back as your body chemistry adjust… but the kicker is no matter if i stay on the drugs or get of of them   the damage is done… it may or may not come back ether way. i may go back to my normal “it’s on mode” or i may have to live with a limp noddle that needs help to get up ….

Emotions…
well if you know me you know i don’t have a lot… and those i do have are well hidden…  right now what i have is raging in me…. from rage to self dough … and just for a not to the ladies the “I’m just happy that your here” doesn’t do fuck all for us…. actually makes thing worst….. 😉     so for now i just have to ride the wave.. for those guys that read this.. it happens to the best of us…. and you cant let it mentally block you…. just let it ride it’s chemical (ether induced or natural) don’t let the emotional get you blocked….

so for now will ride it out and adapt…. ill survive I always do….

boB!

Posted in emotions, fybromyalgia, impotence, lyfestyle, medication, swinging

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